Entitlement

I want to start this post that I'm as guilty as everyone else in this particular matter.  The only difference MAY be that I'm beginning to realize what my frame of mind and way of thinking really is and therefore trying to adjust and change it.

I'm trying hard to teach my children that nothing is free.  Everything has a price: sometimes that price is monetary and sometimes it's emotional, mental, or physical.  I remember my parents teaching me about the difference between a need and a want.  You need something only if you are going to die without it.  Everything else is a want - even if it seems necessary to stay connected in this world.  For example, when we go to the store, they want gum (or the chance to play one of those stupid crane games they stick in the entrance of every grocery store - grrr!).  I simply ask them if they have the money for it.  If it is not on their person, they cannot get/do what they are asking for.  Yet, when we went house hunting a few years ago, we had certain stipulations despite that those stipulations were taking us outside of the limit we had given ourselves.  We "needed" it! (Right?)  I needed a bigger pantry.  I needed 4 bedrooms and another place for the kids to run around inside during the winter months besides underneath my feet.  Michael wanted vaulted ceilings and an open floor plan.  Blah, blah, blah....

Here's the point:  We've been carrying around debt for almost 11 years.  And it really hasn't shrunk at all.  We would listen to Dave Ramsey on occasion and felt like we were sacrificing and trying hard to get rid of it because we bought used cars, didn't eat out often, and hardly ever bought clothes for anyone.  We didn't realize that we were still carrying around a spending mentality.  We still felt entitled to many things because "we'd sacrificed so much for so long!"  We continued to live on the outskirts of our means.  We held onto our home in Utah with the hope that eventually we'd make money on it because it's such a great house.  Then we started listening to Dave Ramsey frequently.  Every day (through his podcast - awesome stuff).  After a while you start to see yourself in the callers -- and you begin to realize that your mindset it NOT where you thought it was, that you're holding onto things/buying things that are not helping your situation.  Though your hole called "DEBT" may not be getting deeper, you are still.in.the.hole!!!

Slight tangent that brought it all together for me:  We have friends who just bought a minivan.  It's used, but it was still $6,000+.  The husband works construction and the wife doesn't work.  They have two children, an elderly mother and aunt living with them, and are soon adopting a special needs girl.  They bought the van because they only fit in their truck and it's hard for the older women, and soon the wheelchair bound girl, to get in and out of the truck.  When showing me their new vehicle, they exclaimed, "Yeah, it's really a two income kind of upgrade, but we couldn't get rid of the truck 'cause we need it to pull the camping trailer and we ain't giving up camping!  We just put a little more on the credit card, 'cause who doesn't every now and again?"  This is a normal train of thought today.  But it's wrong.  Debt makes you a slave.  You continually work to gain ground enough to relax only to find that after you've relaxed you have to go back to working twice as hard to pay off the debt you added in order to relax.  You cannot save money or attain wealth or have freedom if you have debt or otherwise live outside of your income!

So for 11 years we have essentially lived outside of our income.  We realized that we needed to sell our home in Utah.  We need to sell some land we bought with Michael's family 7.5 years ago.  We need to save and get things in order so we can begin to make progress on retirement/college/braces, etc.  We can't do any of that, or even replace the squeeky minivan, until we are debt free and have 6 months savings at our disposal.  I haven't colored my hair for 8 months.  I've had it cut once since then at Great Clips (big whoop).  I stopped buying oreos - not because they are sugary, but because they are $3 extra that could go toward food we need for the month.  Our stove top is broken but it can and will wait until we are debt free.  Our fridge went out before Christmas and we got something off of Craigslist for a much smaller amount than new. 

We finally put our house on the market on February 11th.  I swear its a miracle, but  it closed two days ago.  We were simply hoping to break even - maybe make $5,000.  We didn't have to budge on our price and we came out on top enough that we can pay off our debt (besides our current home) and still have enough to cover 4 months of savings.  We are seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.  For the first time in our lives we are budgeting at the beginning of the month and then sticking to it like glue because either it's on auto draft, or we pull it out in cash.  We went roller skating as a family a few nights ago.  It had to come out of the budget somewhere and it came out of groceries.  My mindset is still working on changing.  I still want to get a new wardrobe.  I still haven't painted my walls in almost two years.  I still only have two bathmats for three bathrooms and rarely matching interior decor.  But we will be out of debt.  We will be able to begin saving for things we want without it threatening the purchase of things we need.  I know doors will open and we will be able to do what we need because we will have the freedom to do so!