The Christmas Spirit

I feel rather pathetic writing about this after Christmas. But better late than never.
I struggled a lot to feel the spirit of the season this year. I don't think it was because of all the commercialization. I think it was good old financial stress that distracted me. That and a good dose of sickness (see previous post). So let me explain how it finally entered my lost heart and found my soul.
Each year my siblings and I make a calendar for my mom. This has been a tradition for as long as I can remember. There were many years growing up that we would make one for each set of grandparents too. Lots of drawing and coloring. It's getting harder and harder to coordinate this as me and my 5 siblings are getting spread out and much busier. But we are still managing. This year I chose to do December. It's been a long time since I've done the last month of the year. I was at a bit of a loss for what to draw/create. Above is my finished product. It wasn't until late last night as I was finishing my picture for my mother that I looked into the face of this infant I had created and felt the Holy Ghost touch me. He reminded me that it is to my Savior that I owe all my thanks for ALL that I have. My children and I had Christmas because He has been merciful and generous. I was warm in my home and healthy because He watched over me each minute of each day. He loves me. I think I prayed 4-5 times last night. Each time I woke up to help a child or my sick husband, I prayed. And I knew that the Lord heard me. He always hears me. He hears my whining, my pleas for worldy recognition, my humility, and my praise of his name in gratitude or rejoicing. I'm grateful for the Lord's tender mercies. Neal A. Maxwell once said, "God knows and loves each one of us personally, and perfectly. Hence, there is incredible intimacy in the vastness of it all. Are not the very hairs of ones' head numbered? Is not the fall of every sparrow noticed? Has Jesus not borne and therefore knows our sins, our sickness, and infermities?" Many times I have felt that intimacy. I know I will continue to feel it if I don't remove myself from it. For He will remain constant and loving. I recognize my littleness in comparison to the whole, but I also know that the Lord feels I have great importance to the whole. He makes me what I am and what I can be. There are many times I feel there is so much more to me. That I've only scratched the surface of what I can be. I'm grateful that He knows my heart and that with Him I can become what I should.